Get Busy

Get busy living, or get busy dying - Shawshank Redemption

This week has allowed me to go back to a normal routine for the first time in over a month.  It seemed strange to get up every morning with the intentions of going to work and not having to worry much about how I felt.   The reason for this is because I didn't have to do radiation treatment due to my doctor wanting to evaluate how things are going so far and feeling a week off isn't going to kill.  (Good news, I didn't die this week)  The thing I didn't realize was how my body still is not back up to speed after a week.  By friday night I was exhausted and drained.  My head was completely clear and awake but my body refused to want to do much but sit and rest.  And with all this I have had time to think about all that is going on without having to focus on appointments, treatments, and physical being.

On Monday night I decided to watch Shawshank Redemption.  This is literally is my favorite movie ever.   It was during my first bout with "the cancer" that I watched this movie a lot, mostly because I think TNT was playing it like 3 or 4 time a weekend and I didn't have the energy to change the channel.  Well, it was that and I could watch that movie once a day and be fine with it.  (And if you have never seen this movie . . . WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. . . go rent it or something) 

Maybe it is because I feel like my life is some crazy drama movie or perhaps it is more so that I feel like I relate to the character of Andy Dufrense.  There is point in the movie that Andy seems completely lost and ready to possibly end his own life when he utters these words in desperation, "Get busy living, or get busy dying."  

For people that are health and things are going well . . . well, this probably does not strike a cord in you.  But for the desperate, such as myself, these words are like water.  

As I returned from radiation treatment yesterday this became very apparent.  It is easy to shut down and think that life will never be the same again.  And  with all honesty there is rarely a soul that will disagree.  Yet the beauty in the thought is that it is true, life will never be the same again.  It has the opportunity to be something better, something different, something I would have imagined.   Life doesn't change into something beautiful by shutting down.  It only happens when we get busy living.   

Life is never fair. . . we want it to be, but rarely will it.  So you have two choices get busy living, or get busy dying.