I am a slacker

Sorry everyone.  I feel like I have totally dropped the ball on keeping everyone updated on everything that is going on.  Some times I let myself get a little too busy and forget the simple thing like just blogging about me and the life I am in.  

This will be a quick update with a more lengthy blog later this weekend.  

I have been struggling lately with a lot of things emotionally, spiritually and physically.  In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about a little girl that I was spending time with at the hospital. Despite the treatments, the prayers,  and the hope of her one day being a mommy like he dreamed to be, she lost her battle with cancer.  This was and is a major blow to my hope and the stallworth faith that I have been leaning on.  After recent going to services for her memorial I have found myself sad and somewhat depressed about life and the things I need to do to move forward.  I am heartbroken over the loss of her.  I was her Superman, as she would say, and I could do nothing to help her.  If this is true, there are times I wonder if anyone can save me either.  

Though there are improvements with every doctors visit but I am finding that the pain is becoming more and I am not bouncing back from the fatigue as quickly.  That is leading to lethargy that I hate.   I try so hard to cover up the amount of pain and frustration I have inside of me right now.  I feel like the ocean right now.  At times the most peaceful place you could possibly be and at others I am like in the midst of a storm and power of it make the ocean's waves a scary place to be near.  My joy is hard to find despite the fact I try to smile as often as possible.   All of it is beginning to wear me down.  

But the light is coming and the pain will end.  It is just a matter of time.  I will write more soon.