Day 4 - Gift Wrapped Conspiracy

Every parent does the same thing at Christmas, it is the Parental Conspiracy if you ask my humble opinion. I am not sure if there is a global meeting of the parental minds but without question there is definitely a goal by parents to make their children squirm on Christmas morning.

In a child's mind there is more to love about the first day in November other than two months of school are now over. This is day that a kid's mouth can being to say what they have been thinks for weeks. "That is what I want for Christmas." I was also notorious for going through the JC Penney catalog and taking the handy dandy black sharpie and circling every single things I kind of wanted. So that begs the question of how did my parents know what I really wanted if over half the catalog was circle. And this was back in the day when you would roll up the JC Penney catalog and use it as a log on the fire after you were done with it. Well I was clever and oh so sneaky. I would put a star next to items of preference and then carefully black out the price, mainly because it was kind of the expensive gifts too. Now every once in a while would be a gift so special, so breath taking, so awe inspiring that it would receive the coveted ring of stars. I would leave no doubt and the make sure they knew it was for me . . . a little TVN, my intials, would be next to them. If could make neon signs I would, no joke.

This is where the parental conspiracy comes into play. There are different version of this ploy but they are all similar . . . hidden gifts, boxes inside of boxes, one small gift buried under two feet of packing peanuts, and the good gift is always made to be at the end. The parents know it and their kids know it, so parents draw out opening gifts as long as possible. But why do parents think they are so entertaining during this process? And it never unfold like it does with the Ralphie and the Red Rider BB gun in A Christmas Story.

Even my brothers and I where subjected to this ridiculous situation. For three years the same request was made by my brothers and I. The coveted circle of stars went to the Nintendo. . . . not the Super Nintendo, not the Nintendo 64, and definately not the Wii. I am talking 8 bits, a controller with two button, and when the cartridge didn't work you pulled it out and blew into it to make it work . . . yeah that kind of awesomeness.

So my parents had their own conspiracy in play. They had three gifts, one for each of us, and they where all the same size, shape, and wrapped identically. But the three of us were very intelligent for our ages. . . . ok at least I was. I had figured out the gift conspiracy that my parents had devised, at least I convinced myself I had. I believed that my parents had taken the Nintendo out of the box and had put in the three boxes before us in an effort to be their sneaky selves. I was so proud of my conclusion I even told my parents how smart I was.

So the big moment came. My parents told us we had to open all three gifts at the same time so at this moment I was pretty confident I was going to be proven right. The red wrapping paper flew and we tore in the boxes and then we saw them . . . three heavy, gift wrapped bricks. I was floored and devastated but then I started looking for a note or some cash. Nothing. Seriously?

But then my dad walked out of their bed room with a large box and set it down. This time we didn't wait . . . we just ripped off the paper. If I had the picture I would show it to you but I don't. But the good news is I have a video. It is not my brothers and I but it is pretty much exactly how we reacted.

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